20/20 Vision - What Does It Take?

I hate going to see the eye doctor. I have terrible vision without my contacts or glasses. What normal people with perfect vision see on a chalkboard at a distance of 300 ft away, I see at 10 ft. Everytime I have an eye appointment and they make me try to read the giant "M" (because the big "E" is too small for me to see even when I squint so they pull out the 8x10 letters for me!) without my contacts, I just feel like a huge failure. I know that it's an "M" on the wall because I've been so many times, but I can't cheat. Like I said, I just hate trips to the eye doctor.

Yesterday I had an appointment and God used my uncomfortable situation that I usually hate to speak to me. Lately my eyes have been getting so tired by about halfway through the day. For some reason, when my eyes get tired, they begin to ache very badly. My eyesight had seemed to have gotten worse, also. I was having to squint alot when I was trying to read the letters on the wall (with my contacts in). I especially had trouble when she had me cover one eye, and then the other while reading. It was so frustrating how bad my eyes were, and even more so when they were used separately. I was feeling a little discouraged.

Dr. Kramer then told me some news I had never gotten before. "Has anyone ever tested you for astigmatism before? Because you're showing a step 4 astigmatism and we usually treat anyone with a step 3 or worse."

 I was so excited! She figured out why I was having such pain and trouble seeing with my eyes lately! All it took to correct the problem were a fancy new prescription of contacts. I now can distinguish between P's and F's without squinting!

God gave me a revelation while I was in the middle of picking out a new pair of glasses in the waiting room after I had my awesome, amazing new contacts in. My eyes are a team. Without my right eye, my left eye can barely read any of the letters on the wall and vice versa. That's even WITH my contacts. God has called me to be Matthew Ryan Miller's bride for this temporary life. Without him, I'm not as strong in furthering God's kingdom because in His good and perfect will, we are to be together. We are to let God use our marriage for His glory in whatever way He will. Together, we are stronger than apart, but there's still something missing. We still will experience pain and trials and tiredness. We can't focus clearly on what steps we should take. If we are only relying on our love and self help books, it's the same as trying to see as well with plain contacts when you have an astigmatism. We need God to act as our fancy new contacts and correct everything. We need him in our lives and relationship. We need his word and time with Him desperately. We need to find our confidence and strength through Him. We need to let Him see all that there is to see in front of us and then guide us where we need to go. Without Him we are weary and weak.

I'm so thankful that God has revealed Himself to me in this way. I pray that He will be all over us in our relationship and that we will seek after him daily. Please pray for us that we will continue to surrender to allow God to move and correct in our lives in all the ways He wants to.