Unexpected Meeting

When I was in middle school and high school and still attended youth group and went to church camp I had a preconceived notion on what a "God meeting" was. Anytime when the lights were dim and my youth pastor would be playing something acoustic I would lose it. With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat I felt God's presence more than ever. Like I was physically in the same room as Him or something. I would go to the alter and in the midst of the music and the thick atmosphere I would proclaim my love for my heavenly Father. Afterwards, when walking to the Snack Shack while at Camp Sharon, kids would be talking about random nothingness and I would almost instantly snap out of that "state of worship." I remember several occasions being disappointed and wondering why I couldn't feel that way just in my everyday life. It reminds me of the lyrics to a Steven Curtis Chapman song, Moment Made for Worshipping:

"6:30 Monday morning,

I'm here hiding in my bed.

A song plays on my alarm clock,

as I cover up my head.

Somewhere in the distance

I remember yesterday,

singing Hallelujah,

full of wonder, awe & praise.

But now I'm just wondering

why I don't feel anything

at all?"

I've lived the words to this song over and over again, sadly. I just couldn't understand why God didn't want to meet me where I was. Wow, was I wrong. God's always ready to meet me, I have to be willing.

This week, God has completely caught me off guard, moving boulders around in my heart. Earlier this week I cleaned up my iTunes a bit and made a worship playlist with hundreds of songs. I was listening to it on my way home from school Wednesday. [Let me first set the setting for you. It was sunny outside and I was near the back of a long line of cars going 45 in a 55. Not exactly my "church camp" scene that I described earlier.] The song Your Hands by JJ Heller came on. It's such a simple and quaint song. But when she sang the words "When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.." I just lost it!! I had a huge lump in my throat and I was fighting back tears (only because I was on my way to work; otherwise I would have let it out). I was compelled and overcome with the urge to just praise God and thank Him for all that He is at that moment. It was uncontrollable! Then the polar opposite began playing on my iPod. (Usually this sudden change up would have caused me to snap back into "reality." Nope. Not that day.) Transformers by Lecrae began to play and my heart was overjoyed by the promise in 2 Corinthians 5:17! I couldn't smiling and this time I couldn't stop the tears!

When I parked my car in my driveway I just thanked God for reminding me that I can have that experience with Him anywhere and everywhere! The rest of the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's song describe my unexpected meeting perfectly:

"This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping!"

Brother Oley

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

- John Piper (Don't Waste Your Life)

Tonight was Brother Oley Brown's "Celebration of Life" Memorial Service. I met Brother Oley at a youth retreat in 7th grade. It was my first experience going on any trips with the church (I've been going to ever since) and I felt a little uncomfortable. I had friends there and I was super outgoing, but it still didn't feel like home just yet. The few things I can remember about this weekend 7 years ago was that it rained the whole time, rock climbing is great exercise, and Brother Oley. I remember he was just there to help out and before we knew it, he had broken out his harmonica and we were all clapping and cheering for Jesus! Oley was a wrinkly faced, (then) 88 year old man with a huge smile and an even bigger heart. In all the years that I've known him, I've never seen him in a lousy mood. He LOVED helping with youth and preaching to us. When I came home from the retreat that Sunday night, I talked mostly of this sweet old man and his passionate heart. Also about how much he seemed to love us. I just can't say enough good things about this man.

Neither could anyone else, tonight at his service. Brother Oley passed away at the end of February this year, right after celebrating his anniversary with his wife of 72 years, Elsie. They were such a sweet couple who really showed what a marriage founded on The Rock looks like. Everyone was talking about how wonderful he was; how he begged to continue to mow the church lawn and baseball fields and how he wanted to drive youth to Camp Sharon, both when he was in his late 80's and early 90's. The man had such a hard working, obedient heart for Jesus! He even went on a mission trip to Honduras when he was 85!! By surrendering his life to God and allowing Him to do all He wanted through Oley, he preached his own funeral with the amazing legacy he left behind.

Oley wasn't a pastor or a worship leader. God had not called him to live overseas or adopt orphans from third world countries. God called Olaf Brown to lay bricks, serve in the army, love his sweet wife with everything he had in him, mow the church lawn, sadly (but for the glory of God) bury two of his children, and play that harmonica with all he had in him! Oley blessed others with such a humble life of his own.

This is the first death of someone I loved that I have encountered where I wasn't sad when I heard the news. All I could think about was the last time I saw Brother Oley (this summer when he and Elsie were visiting our church and talking about their 71st wedding anniversary and how God has blessed them so) and his radiant smile. I knew that Brother Oley was FINALLY home. After spending 95 years on this earth and letting God's light and Jesus' love flow freely through him as a vesicle for others, Oley was finally where he's always belonged. I feel SO blessed to have known such a wonderful, wonderful man.

Tonight, listening to all of the things people had to say about him, I realized something. I, under NO circumstances, want to waste my life. Not even a day. I want to be twenty years into retirement working hard for Jesus in all the ways He's calling me to. The only way I can do this is to truly surrender my life and all of my beloved possessions to God for Him to do with them as He so pleases. Through the marvelously exciting to the excruciatingly devastating, I want God's steady peace and joy in my life, and I want to glorify Him in every step I take for this is the only way to truly live.

Olaf Brown

December 10, 1915 -- February 23, 2011

Oley & wife of 72 years, Elsie

Playing the harmonica

72nd Anniversary card on display at Brother Oley's "Celebration of Life" memorial service

"March Forth!"

So, it was brought to my attention today through a retweeted tweet (lol) by a friend that today's date is very ironic. It's the only date of the year that is a command..

March Fourth

As soon as I read this, the Lord instantly reminded me of a passage of scripture I had copied into my prayer journal several months prior to today.

"The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies & foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; Though war break out against me, even then will I be confident!.... I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!"  Psalm 27:1-3, 13, 14

How empowering, right?? These are the notes I wrote below this passage in my journal: "Wow! What CONFIDENCE! I need to pray that all of this will be real to me so that I can know without a doubt that with God on my side (or vice versa actually) there is absolutely NOTHING to fear! I want GOD to be my stronghold, not sin or Facebook or TV... God! This verse makes me feel the strength and power of my Lord."

I'm using today's date as a reminder that I worship a God whom I can have total confidence in! He is always with us and He WILL complete in us the good works He began (remember Philippians 1:6). Take heart and MARCH FORTH!




p.s.  it's also my future brother's 25th birthday today :)

Ba-a-a-a

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.    Isaiah 53:6

There's many references in the bible of how we're all like sheep or how Jesus is our shepherd. Same thing. As many times as we've heard the verses like that, have you ever really taken a second to stop and think about sheep? There are two very striking similarities between the breed and humanity and they've been on my heart lately.

1. Sheep are dumb. No, like seriously dumb. Did you know that if one of the sheep in the herd were to run off a ledge to its demise, the rest would follow? For real, how DUMB is that?! In my anatomy class last semester when we were learning all about brains we had to dissect a sheep brain in lab. We had learned that it's not the size of the brain that determines how smart a person is, it's the number of creases and folds their brain contains. The more creases you see on a brain, the smarter the person was (very simply put). Sheep brains are almost completely smooth. Yeah, not that smart. Back to the ledge analogy, we're SO much like sheep in the sense. How many times do we look up to, or even idolize another person? We want to do things JUST like they do. We want to dress like them, talk like them, do the same things they do. This too is dumb. We need to model our lives after Christ. He has set forth the most perfect example and we should pray every day to be more like Him. We also need to realize that we're simple minded and can't possibly understand or grasp the things that God knows. He knows what's best for us. He's there for our guidance and protection. We (I, definitely, included) need to seek His will for our lives and understand that He's all knowing and we're.. well.. dumb.

2. Sheep are vulnerable. In what universe could any sheep EVER stand a chance against a wolf, a bear, or even a dog for that matter? Sheep don't have huge fangs or sharp claws. They're completely and totally dependent on the shepherd for protection and guidance. If a sheep were to go out on his own to try to take care of himself he wouldn't last very long. How many times do we try to take matters into our own hands or go down our own pathways until we get utterly slaughtered? It's only then when we realize that we can't protect ourselves or see the really big picture in life. We really need to trust and rely on God for that protection and gentle guidance in our lives. He truly does want what's best for us (remember Jeremiah 29:11).

Try to go through this week remembering to fully rely on God for everything. Because without Him, we're all just dumb and vulnerable :)




(For fun: When I was looking for a picture of a sheep for this blog I found this little guy. He just happened to remind me of Da-a-avid Crowder! Haha, enjoy!)



Don't Worry!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

- Matthew 6:34

Simple as that. :) Oh, and by the way, meet Happy Miller! Mine and Matthew's new yellow lab puppy. We got him last weekend. He really does live up to his name!

Charlie

Do all things without arguing or complaining. -Philippians 2:14

Yesterday as I was driving home from school, I saw a dog sitting at the end of my gravel road. He was so cute so I pulled over just to pet him. When I started walking towards him I noticed something was wrong with him but I wasn't sure what it was. Once I was close enough to pet him and I stuck my hand out to try, I noticed that half of his face was mangled. His eye was shut, swollen and bleeding. As if that's not bad enough, he had a HOLE in his skull, I could literally see inside of his head. I'm terribly compassionate which is a good thing for everyone I come in contact with but an awfully painful thing for me. I was on the phone with Matt and I immediately just started crying so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. My heart broke to see this puppy with these terrible wounds. AND to top it all off, the sweet dog licked my hand and looked up at me like I was his savior. I got back in my car and pulled it over to the side of the road and locked the doors and left it there. I was able to get the dog to follow me all the way to my house and into our fenced in back yard. He followed me everywhere, licking my hand and whimpering when I would stop petting the good side of his head. This dog had the sweetest demeanor I've ever seen in any dog, healthy or hurt. We fed him some dog food and took him to the vet's office. Even though he was obviously scared to ride in a car he was so good. He sat right next to me, with either his paws or his head in my lap the whole time. We got him to the office and they said they would clean him up and keep him overnight. All the while I was so excited that Matthew and I were going to have a dog to take with us when we get married and we even named him. Charlie. Well, this morning the vet called and said they had to put him to sleep because his wounds were much worse than they appeared. Apparently he had been mauled by a bigger animal. Needless to say, I cried again this morning.

That isn't exactly my point, though. I have NO pain tolerance whatsoever. Just ask Matt, I've cried over a (very serious and painful) splinter before. The whole time that I was sitting outside with Charlie, waiting to take him to the vet I was thinking about how crazy it was that he was hurt SO bad, yet he wasn't "complaining." I know that sounds dumb, talking about a dog but he wasn't whining or yelping. He didn't try to bite me when I looked at his wounds. He was trusting. He could tell that I loved him and wanted to take care of him for as long as he lived so even through his immense physical pain I'm sure he was enduring he never once lashed out. I certainly would have. It just reminds me of how God loves us so much more than I could ever even imagine loving anyone or anything. He wants so badly to take care of his wounded children in our times of darkness and pain. Do we walk around depressed, moaning, or complaining? Or do we trust the One who wants to care for us and go about our lives with a peaceful and happy accordance despite whatever circumstances we face?

Little Charlie was only apart of my life for one emotional night, but God used him to show me something that I'm to stubborn to put into practice without a little prompting. Do all things without arguing or complaining.

Path Principle

Direction not Intention determines our Destination.

This is Andy Stanley's Path Principle. It seems like a nice little statement that we can say "Oh yeah, absolutely!" and then just go on about our day. But I think it deserves a second glance and that's exactly why I'm blogging about it and didn't just tweet it!

Matthew and I were talking about this yesterday, and he explained it to me the way it was explained to him. So I'll try my best to explain it here! I'll do this by giving the example he gave to me. Let's say that Matthew and I wanted to go on a beach vacation soo bad. We planned it all out, what all we were going to do and on which days. We packed our swim suits and sunscreen and got the car all loaded with our things and we set out on the road that very same day. The only problem is that we start traveling down the highway that leads to Wyoming instead of Florida. Even though we want that beach vacation so bad, and we're all prepared to spend our time there, we're traveling the wrong direction we'll never get to experience the thing we've set our hearts on.

The same can be said for a number of real life situations. I love all things heart shaped so I'll correspond it with the relationship aspect of this. If you desire a good, true relationship with all of your heart you need to do more than just want, think about, and pray for it. You need to travel down the road that will lead you to it. The bible tells us that apart from God there is no such thing as love. God is love. In order to have your direction match your intention, you must seek the number one lover in existence first. Through forming a deep intimate relationship with the Lord (the perfect direction) you will find the person He's created for you. (Your desired destination!) The Path Principle can be applied to so many other things like planning for the future, seeking God's will in your life, and even mundane things like doing well in school.

I pray that God will burn this onto my heart so that I will learn to become more and more aware of it each day. I want this to be true in my life and I hope it will be true in yours too! :)