Go HARD

Lately, this has been my FAVORITE song. It inspires and excites me so much! Lecrae's passion for God is infectious and no matter how many times I listen to it, I get goosebumps every time. I'm going to quote someone who commented on this video and then leave the lyrics below. Please take the time to really listen to what he's saying.

"Rappers like T.I. and others will occasionally make songs which seem to have a good message and powerful meaning to them, but when it comes down to it, his (their) songs only teach you to make yourself into God and to glorify your own self.

For someone to take that same power of rap and to devote it to the Gospel is really unique and has ultimate meaning and power to it. The secular rappers only teach you to hope in man, which is utterly vain and foolish. Only The Lord makes Peace."

Verse 1:
(Lecrae)
Lord kill me If I don't preach the gospel
I'm still in my 20's- but I'll die if I got to
Already dead- so forget my flesh
I done been crossed over see the full court press
I'm a full court mess if the Lord don't use me
Running from my trials thinkin everythangs groovy
If the Cross don't move me then I don't wanna breath no mo
If I aint seeing Christ potna I dont wanna see no mo
Rep every day withouth worrying about bruising
I been to china mayne I seen some real persecution
If U didn't know em would ya life look the same
Can they tell you value Jesus by the way you rep his name?
man what's the point of living if Im living for myself
Lord empty out my life before I put you on the shelf

So for God I got Hard I dont' wanna die tonight

It's too many people living who aint heard about my Christ
Go Hard or Go Home(2xs)
Lord Use Me Up(2xs)

Verse 2:
(Lecrae)
Went to Asia had to duck and hide-for Sharin my faith
They tell me water it downwhen I get back to states
They say tone the music down you might sell a lot a records
But it's people out here dying and none of em heard the message
Took my wifey on mission trip - central america
Shared her testimony 40 people stood and stared at her
When she said Jesus shoulda seen it was insane cause 40 out of 40 never heard of Jesus name/ Aw mayne we aint focused on the war we just kickin it/ worried bout our image and our space up on the internet// take me out the game coach/ I don't wanna play no mo/ If cant give it all I got and leave it out there on the court/ Thank you for the Grace for the will and the desire/ got me living for your glory stead of living to retire/ But I pray I'll never tire of Going hard for Messiah/I don't need no motivation You the reason I'm inspired.

Verse 3:
(Tedashii)
Go Hard/Go Home, Go Hard/ Go Home/
That's what that is baby/that what that mean/that what that mean/
That what That is baby/That what that mean/that what that mean/
Wha-What that mean?/That mean that we, should be out up in the streets/
Not just in houses with our bible's summrizing what we read/
Man this aint deep (man this aint deep)/why we aint doing what we read/Its like we sleep (its like we sleep)/
But sinners sleepwalk when they sleep/
So why can't we (so why can't we)/the redeemed of the LORD/
Act out, what He said/and make a scene for the LORD/
Action-cut, say what, like we was the director/
But you better get a Grip like movie sets, and get to stepping/

(Martin)
I know you done it/da-done it, da-done-and heard it all
You was going hard for the Lord before you heard this song/
But don't play yourself to save ya self/and walk in fear/
Scripture's like a mirror/the truth is closer than it appears

...again with the goosebumps. Have a great week!

Word of the Week..

FAMILY

This week my Grandma Nita went to be with the Lord. The past 3 weeks have been so busy with frequent trips to the hospital/nursing home. My dad's side of the family is so big. My grandparents had 4 children, 16 grandchildren (counting spouses), 10 great grandchildren, and LOTS of extra extended family. We found ourselves squeezing into the cramped hallways and in Grandma's bedroom of the nursing home. Everyone was there, crying together, telling stories, laughing, sitting, and loving on Grandma. We all were able to tell her how much she meant to us and what an impact she had on our lives before she passed away. We were able to tell her how much we loved her and that it was okay for her to go home, where she belongs. She ended up passing away on Tuesday morning (3/29). Although it was difficult for us to let her go, we knew that's what would be the absolute best for her. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday we all gathered in Grandma's little house and fellowshipped. I just closed my eyes and listened to the sound of ALL of those people laughing and loving each other. I could just hear my Grandpa's big belly laugh in the background of it all and I could picture my Grandma's sheepish smile. God had used them in such a mighty way.. They gave birth to a FAMILY. A family that LOVES no matter what. A family that PULLS TOGETHER in hard times. I can't express how thankful I am for that wonderful family that has given me too many memories to mention..

This weekend, Matt's parents came to Jonesboro all the way from Atlanta! Saturday night my parents and I went out to eat with them and then took them to see mine & Matthew's house in Paragould! Today they came over and we spent the afternoon together in Doniphan. Then this evening was our wedding shower at the church! Afterwards, we all stayed for the church service and Matt lead my church in worship for one song. Let me just begin by saying I'm SO thankful for the amazing FAMILY I'm marrying into. They're so loving and I feel like I've known them my whole life. It's so important to get along with your in-laws and I've just really been blessed in the in-law department (including my future big brother-in-law!).

There were SO many people that came to our wedding shower! I was so overwhelmed by the love that I felt from my church FAMILY. We received so many heartfelt messages and little notes in cards that meant the world to us, sooo many generous gifts, and even a few very sweet handmade gifts. It all meant the world to me. But what meant the most were all of the hugs, tear filled eyes, and words of encouragement that we were met with after the shower was over. I truly do LOVE the people of First Church, Doniphan. They'll always be my family.

Throughout this past week when I was surrounded by loved ones at the funeral, Grandma's house, the church, or even our own home, I just couldn't get over the staggering realization. FAMILY and COMMUNITY are so important in life. Life is about relationships. So, cherish, foster, love, appreciate, and work on the relationships in your life. They're SO important (One in particular, and a life long relationship with Him is definitely worth the effort). My heart is overflowing with the love I've experienced this last week.. with my family. ♥

Unexpected Meeting

When I was in middle school and high school and still attended youth group and went to church camp I had a preconceived notion on what a "God meeting" was. Anytime when the lights were dim and my youth pastor would be playing something acoustic I would lose it. With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat I felt God's presence more than ever. Like I was physically in the same room as Him or something. I would go to the alter and in the midst of the music and the thick atmosphere I would proclaim my love for my heavenly Father. Afterwards, when walking to the Snack Shack while at Camp Sharon, kids would be talking about random nothingness and I would almost instantly snap out of that "state of worship." I remember several occasions being disappointed and wondering why I couldn't feel that way just in my everyday life. It reminds me of the lyrics to a Steven Curtis Chapman song, Moment Made for Worshipping:

"6:30 Monday morning,

I'm here hiding in my bed.

A song plays on my alarm clock,

as I cover up my head.

Somewhere in the distance

I remember yesterday,

singing Hallelujah,

full of wonder, awe & praise.

But now I'm just wondering

why I don't feel anything

at all?"

I've lived the words to this song over and over again, sadly. I just couldn't understand why God didn't want to meet me where I was. Wow, was I wrong. God's always ready to meet me, I have to be willing.

This week, God has completely caught me off guard, moving boulders around in my heart. Earlier this week I cleaned up my iTunes a bit and made a worship playlist with hundreds of songs. I was listening to it on my way home from school Wednesday. [Let me first set the setting for you. It was sunny outside and I was near the back of a long line of cars going 45 in a 55. Not exactly my "church camp" scene that I described earlier.] The song Your Hands by JJ Heller came on. It's such a simple and quaint song. But when she sang the words "When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.." I just lost it!! I had a huge lump in my throat and I was fighting back tears (only because I was on my way to work; otherwise I would have let it out). I was compelled and overcome with the urge to just praise God and thank Him for all that He is at that moment. It was uncontrollable! Then the polar opposite began playing on my iPod. (Usually this sudden change up would have caused me to snap back into "reality." Nope. Not that day.) Transformers by Lecrae began to play and my heart was overjoyed by the promise in 2 Corinthians 5:17! I couldn't smiling and this time I couldn't stop the tears!

When I parked my car in my driveway I just thanked God for reminding me that I can have that experience with Him anywhere and everywhere! The rest of the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's song describe my unexpected meeting perfectly:

"This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping!"

Brother Oley

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

- John Piper (Don't Waste Your Life)

Tonight was Brother Oley Brown's "Celebration of Life" Memorial Service. I met Brother Oley at a youth retreat in 7th grade. It was my first experience going on any trips with the church (I've been going to ever since) and I felt a little uncomfortable. I had friends there and I was super outgoing, but it still didn't feel like home just yet. The few things I can remember about this weekend 7 years ago was that it rained the whole time, rock climbing is great exercise, and Brother Oley. I remember he was just there to help out and before we knew it, he had broken out his harmonica and we were all clapping and cheering for Jesus! Oley was a wrinkly faced, (then) 88 year old man with a huge smile and an even bigger heart. In all the years that I've known him, I've never seen him in a lousy mood. He LOVED helping with youth and preaching to us. When I came home from the retreat that Sunday night, I talked mostly of this sweet old man and his passionate heart. Also about how much he seemed to love us. I just can't say enough good things about this man.

Neither could anyone else, tonight at his service. Brother Oley passed away at the end of February this year, right after celebrating his anniversary with his wife of 72 years, Elsie. They were such a sweet couple who really showed what a marriage founded on The Rock looks like. Everyone was talking about how wonderful he was; how he begged to continue to mow the church lawn and baseball fields and how he wanted to drive youth to Camp Sharon, both when he was in his late 80's and early 90's. The man had such a hard working, obedient heart for Jesus! He even went on a mission trip to Honduras when he was 85!! By surrendering his life to God and allowing Him to do all He wanted through Oley, he preached his own funeral with the amazing legacy he left behind.

Oley wasn't a pastor or a worship leader. God had not called him to live overseas or adopt orphans from third world countries. God called Olaf Brown to lay bricks, serve in the army, love his sweet wife with everything he had in him, mow the church lawn, sadly (but for the glory of God) bury two of his children, and play that harmonica with all he had in him! Oley blessed others with such a humble life of his own.

This is the first death of someone I loved that I have encountered where I wasn't sad when I heard the news. All I could think about was the last time I saw Brother Oley (this summer when he and Elsie were visiting our church and talking about their 71st wedding anniversary and how God has blessed them so) and his radiant smile. I knew that Brother Oley was FINALLY home. After spending 95 years on this earth and letting God's light and Jesus' love flow freely through him as a vesicle for others, Oley was finally where he's always belonged. I feel SO blessed to have known such a wonderful, wonderful man.

Tonight, listening to all of the things people had to say about him, I realized something. I, under NO circumstances, want to waste my life. Not even a day. I want to be twenty years into retirement working hard for Jesus in all the ways He's calling me to. The only way I can do this is to truly surrender my life and all of my beloved possessions to God for Him to do with them as He so pleases. Through the marvelously exciting to the excruciatingly devastating, I want God's steady peace and joy in my life, and I want to glorify Him in every step I take for this is the only way to truly live.

Olaf Brown

December 10, 1915 -- February 23, 2011

Oley & wife of 72 years, Elsie

Playing the harmonica

72nd Anniversary card on display at Brother Oley's "Celebration of Life" memorial service

"March Forth!"

So, it was brought to my attention today through a retweeted tweet (lol) by a friend that today's date is very ironic. It's the only date of the year that is a command..

March Fourth

As soon as I read this, the Lord instantly reminded me of a passage of scripture I had copied into my prayer journal several months prior to today.

"The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies & foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; Though war break out against me, even then will I be confident!.... I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!"  Psalm 27:1-3, 13, 14

How empowering, right?? These are the notes I wrote below this passage in my journal: "Wow! What CONFIDENCE! I need to pray that all of this will be real to me so that I can know without a doubt that with God on my side (or vice versa actually) there is absolutely NOTHING to fear! I want GOD to be my stronghold, not sin or Facebook or TV... God! This verse makes me feel the strength and power of my Lord."

I'm using today's date as a reminder that I worship a God whom I can have total confidence in! He is always with us and He WILL complete in us the good works He began (remember Philippians 1:6). Take heart and MARCH FORTH!




p.s.  it's also my future brother's 25th birthday today :)

Ba-a-a-a

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.    Isaiah 53:6

There's many references in the bible of how we're all like sheep or how Jesus is our shepherd. Same thing. As many times as we've heard the verses like that, have you ever really taken a second to stop and think about sheep? There are two very striking similarities between the breed and humanity and they've been on my heart lately.

1. Sheep are dumb. No, like seriously dumb. Did you know that if one of the sheep in the herd were to run off a ledge to its demise, the rest would follow? For real, how DUMB is that?! In my anatomy class last semester when we were learning all about brains we had to dissect a sheep brain in lab. We had learned that it's not the size of the brain that determines how smart a person is, it's the number of creases and folds their brain contains. The more creases you see on a brain, the smarter the person was (very simply put). Sheep brains are almost completely smooth. Yeah, not that smart. Back to the ledge analogy, we're SO much like sheep in the sense. How many times do we look up to, or even idolize another person? We want to do things JUST like they do. We want to dress like them, talk like them, do the same things they do. This too is dumb. We need to model our lives after Christ. He has set forth the most perfect example and we should pray every day to be more like Him. We also need to realize that we're simple minded and can't possibly understand or grasp the things that God knows. He knows what's best for us. He's there for our guidance and protection. We (I, definitely, included) need to seek His will for our lives and understand that He's all knowing and we're.. well.. dumb.

2. Sheep are vulnerable. In what universe could any sheep EVER stand a chance against a wolf, a bear, or even a dog for that matter? Sheep don't have huge fangs or sharp claws. They're completely and totally dependent on the shepherd for protection and guidance. If a sheep were to go out on his own to try to take care of himself he wouldn't last very long. How many times do we try to take matters into our own hands or go down our own pathways until we get utterly slaughtered? It's only then when we realize that we can't protect ourselves or see the really big picture in life. We really need to trust and rely on God for that protection and gentle guidance in our lives. He truly does want what's best for us (remember Jeremiah 29:11).

Try to go through this week remembering to fully rely on God for everything. Because without Him, we're all just dumb and vulnerable :)




(For fun: When I was looking for a picture of a sheep for this blog I found this little guy. He just happened to remind me of Da-a-avid Crowder! Haha, enjoy!)



Don't Worry!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

- Matthew 6:34

Simple as that. :) Oh, and by the way, meet Happy Miller! Mine and Matthew's new yellow lab puppy. We got him last weekend. He really does live up to his name!