Unexpected Meeting

When I was in middle school and high school and still attended youth group and went to church camp I had a preconceived notion on what a "God meeting" was. Anytime when the lights were dim and my youth pastor would be playing something acoustic I would lose it. With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat I felt God's presence more than ever. Like I was physically in the same room as Him or something. I would go to the alter and in the midst of the music and the thick atmosphere I would proclaim my love for my heavenly Father. Afterwards, when walking to the Snack Shack while at Camp Sharon, kids would be talking about random nothingness and I would almost instantly snap out of that "state of worship." I remember several occasions being disappointed and wondering why I couldn't feel that way just in my everyday life. It reminds me of the lyrics to a Steven Curtis Chapman song, Moment Made for Worshipping:

"6:30 Monday morning,

I'm here hiding in my bed.

A song plays on my alarm clock,

as I cover up my head.

Somewhere in the distance

I remember yesterday,

singing Hallelujah,

full of wonder, awe & praise.

But now I'm just wondering

why I don't feel anything

at all?"

I've lived the words to this song over and over again, sadly. I just couldn't understand why God didn't want to meet me where I was. Wow, was I wrong. God's always ready to meet me, I have to be willing.

This week, God has completely caught me off guard, moving boulders around in my heart. Earlier this week I cleaned up my iTunes a bit and made a worship playlist with hundreds of songs. I was listening to it on my way home from school Wednesday. [Let me first set the setting for you. It was sunny outside and I was near the back of a long line of cars going 45 in a 55. Not exactly my "church camp" scene that I described earlier.] The song Your Hands by JJ Heller came on. It's such a simple and quaint song. But when she sang the words "When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.." I just lost it!! I had a huge lump in my throat and I was fighting back tears (only because I was on my way to work; otherwise I would have let it out). I was compelled and overcome with the urge to just praise God and thank Him for all that He is at that moment. It was uncontrollable! Then the polar opposite began playing on my iPod. (Usually this sudden change up would have caused me to snap back into "reality." Nope. Not that day.) Transformers by Lecrae began to play and my heart was overjoyed by the promise in 2 Corinthians 5:17! I couldn't smiling and this time I couldn't stop the tears!

When I parked my car in my driveway I just thanked God for reminding me that I can have that experience with Him anywhere and everywhere! The rest of the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's song describe my unexpected meeting perfectly:

"This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping!"

Brother Oley

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

- John Piper (Don't Waste Your Life)

Tonight was Brother Oley Brown's "Celebration of Life" Memorial Service. I met Brother Oley at a youth retreat in 7th grade. It was my first experience going on any trips with the church (I've been going to ever since) and I felt a little uncomfortable. I had friends there and I was super outgoing, but it still didn't feel like home just yet. The few things I can remember about this weekend 7 years ago was that it rained the whole time, rock climbing is great exercise, and Brother Oley. I remember he was just there to help out and before we knew it, he had broken out his harmonica and we were all clapping and cheering for Jesus! Oley was a wrinkly faced, (then) 88 year old man with a huge smile and an even bigger heart. In all the years that I've known him, I've never seen him in a lousy mood. He LOVED helping with youth and preaching to us. When I came home from the retreat that Sunday night, I talked mostly of this sweet old man and his passionate heart. Also about how much he seemed to love us. I just can't say enough good things about this man.

Neither could anyone else, tonight at his service. Brother Oley passed away at the end of February this year, right after celebrating his anniversary with his wife of 72 years, Elsie. They were such a sweet couple who really showed what a marriage founded on The Rock looks like. Everyone was talking about how wonderful he was; how he begged to continue to mow the church lawn and baseball fields and how he wanted to drive youth to Camp Sharon, both when he was in his late 80's and early 90's. The man had such a hard working, obedient heart for Jesus! He even went on a mission trip to Honduras when he was 85!! By surrendering his life to God and allowing Him to do all He wanted through Oley, he preached his own funeral with the amazing legacy he left behind.

Oley wasn't a pastor or a worship leader. God had not called him to live overseas or adopt orphans from third world countries. God called Olaf Brown to lay bricks, serve in the army, love his sweet wife with everything he had in him, mow the church lawn, sadly (but for the glory of God) bury two of his children, and play that harmonica with all he had in him! Oley blessed others with such a humble life of his own.

This is the first death of someone I loved that I have encountered where I wasn't sad when I heard the news. All I could think about was the last time I saw Brother Oley (this summer when he and Elsie were visiting our church and talking about their 71st wedding anniversary and how God has blessed them so) and his radiant smile. I knew that Brother Oley was FINALLY home. After spending 95 years on this earth and letting God's light and Jesus' love flow freely through him as a vesicle for others, Oley was finally where he's always belonged. I feel SO blessed to have known such a wonderful, wonderful man.

Tonight, listening to all of the things people had to say about him, I realized something. I, under NO circumstances, want to waste my life. Not even a day. I want to be twenty years into retirement working hard for Jesus in all the ways He's calling me to. The only way I can do this is to truly surrender my life and all of my beloved possessions to God for Him to do with them as He so pleases. Through the marvelously exciting to the excruciatingly devastating, I want God's steady peace and joy in my life, and I want to glorify Him in every step I take for this is the only way to truly live.

Olaf Brown

December 10, 1915 -- February 23, 2011

Oley & wife of 72 years, Elsie

Playing the harmonica

72nd Anniversary card on display at Brother Oley's "Celebration of Life" memorial service

"March Forth!"

So, it was brought to my attention today through a retweeted tweet (lol) by a friend that today's date is very ironic. It's the only date of the year that is a command..

March Fourth

As soon as I read this, the Lord instantly reminded me of a passage of scripture I had copied into my prayer journal several months prior to today.

"The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies & foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; Though war break out against me, even then will I be confident!.... I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!"  Psalm 27:1-3, 13, 14

How empowering, right?? These are the notes I wrote below this passage in my journal: "Wow! What CONFIDENCE! I need to pray that all of this will be real to me so that I can know without a doubt that with God on my side (or vice versa actually) there is absolutely NOTHING to fear! I want GOD to be my stronghold, not sin or Facebook or TV... God! This verse makes me feel the strength and power of my Lord."

I'm using today's date as a reminder that I worship a God whom I can have total confidence in! He is always with us and He WILL complete in us the good works He began (remember Philippians 1:6). Take heart and MARCH FORTH!




p.s.  it's also my future brother's 25th birthday today :)